Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
