i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
