so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
