I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
