You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
