sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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