whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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