She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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