but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
