i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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