if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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