That's when you crack a 10am beer
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
