I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
