shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
