Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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