k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
