your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Text me some of your sweat
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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