Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize