need another drink. this is the easiest way
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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