She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
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He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
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just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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