wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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