I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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