I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
