he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
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Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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