I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
