His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
