I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
