Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
