Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
