my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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