haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
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Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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