on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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