I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
