Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
