I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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