Someone shit on the floor
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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