too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize