People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
