East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
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