I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im six kinds of drunk right now
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
