Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
