Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize