Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
