I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
