I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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