I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
