i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
should my penis look like a turkey
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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