i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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