and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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