just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I lost the right to judge tonight
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
