also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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