I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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