She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
