Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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