im drinking this country out of the recession.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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