found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
