You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I smell stomach acid.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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