So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
