if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
