I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
