yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
now i know why i became what i already was.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
