is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
