woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
