He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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