Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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