Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
40s are totally the cure
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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